I get it—why bother with veggies when meat’s easy and tasty, right? I’m not here to change your diet, I’m not health nut, I just want to share my journey into more diverse and surprisingly delicious eating, and if you end up caring a bit more about your taste buds, body, and maybe even the planet, so be it. Do whatever the fuck you want, same as I do.
I focus on maximizing flavor from vegetables and plant-based foods. I occasionally enjoy fish, seafood, and the rare friday night pepperoni pizza (which, if American schools count pizza as a vegetable, makes pepperoni practically a fucking plant). My recipes are predominantly veggie-based but you’ll find some fish and seafood along the way. As well as sweets.
I have a job and three kids, and, if I could, I would cook them too, kidding, they are not plant based. Point is, just like you, I have no fucking time at all, but I love cooking, so I streamlined these recipes so you can cook them too. Feel free to skip or swap ingredients. After all, cooking is about creativity and eating what you love.
Beet It, Risotto!
Let's get one thing straight: this ain't real risotto. It's an impasta (yup, orzo in disguise) and it knows it—but oh boy, does it fucking deliver.
Smoked Tofu Reuben
Reubens are already the king of sandwiches, but this one? This one is fucking royalty. Smoky, tangy, cheesy, messy in all the right ways—basically, a sandwich that demands two hands and zero shame.
BLUEBERRY MATCHA-CHA-CHA COOKIES
These cookies are naughty with a dash of dirty. More like a lambada to be honest, the forbidden dance. Let them shimmy their way into your belly, and they’ll leave you screaming for more.
Eggplant Schnitzel, DAS IST KÖSTLICH!
This isn’t your Oma’s schnitzel—it’s a plant-based powerhouse that’ll have even the most die-hard meat lovers saying “wunderbar.”
TEMPEH OREK with pandan coconut rice
Golden-fried tempeh covered in a sticky, caramelized sauce that’s sweet, salty, and ready to party. Chillies bring the heat, lime leaves add a zing, and galangal slaps you with a punch. Add fluffy coconut rice, and you’ve got a dish so fucking addictive you’ll want to marry it.
YOU COD ME AT TACO
Fish, but make it sexy. These tacos are proof that seafood isn’t just for fancy dinners or people pretending to be vegetarian like me—it’s for fucking tacos. Smoky, buttery cod rubbed down with spices, drenched in coconut lime goodness, and perched on a tortilla throne. Oh, and that mango salsa?—sweet, spicy, and a little chaotic, just like you on a Friday night.
BEAN THERE, DONE THAT
For anyone still side-eyeing veggies—this stew is about to shut you up. Smoky Asturias beans, earthy mushrooms, and a paprika punch so good it’ll have you questioning why you ever hated this stuff. So pour a glass of something strong, and get ready to fall hard for veggies… or pulses… I mean, veggies… never mind, same same but different.
SQUASHY SASSY CHEESECAKE
Dedicated to all fall lovers. A sassy and squashy mischief with a brownie base to make you feel the naughtiest in the pumpkin patch. So put on your coziest sweater, you beautiful autumn devotee, and don’t leave the house unless it is to buy more ingredients to bake this again.
CAULIFLOWER STEAK
Would calling this a steak be like calling oat milk... milk? Here we are, debating the really important stuff—defying definitions and expectations. As absurd as it is tasty.
ARROZ NEGRO
This black rice proves two things: ink is fucking delicious and traditional paella is boring. Go suck a lemon, paella.
SALMOREJJJO
A creamy and summery tomato soup that’s easier to make, and arguably to pronounce, than it’s older sibling, gazpacho.
LIFE IS LIKE A CARAMELISED ONION TART
People think that onions are the only food that makes you cry, but that’s because they haven’t been hit with a coconut in their face. Point is, onions fucking rock, and this tart proves my point.
ROAST ME, PUMPKIN
#SquashGoals - This dish is everything you can wish for when you need a long, loving hug but don’t have any other human around.
GRILLED MISO AND GOCHUJANG EGGPLANT WITH TOFU CRUMBLE
What came first, the egg or the plant? Neither, because the eggplant is neither an egg (duh!) nor a plant; it’s a fruit! A controversial by the way. But hey, fucking-hate no more – this eggplant dish is, I promised myself I wouldn’t say it, eggcellent! Damn it!
CORNY RIBS
Oh my fucking corn! This is probably one of my greatest acornplishments. It might not seem like a big deal, but believe me, the taste of these ribs is a-maize-ing.
OH LÀ LÀ! BANANÀ
I’ve never been a banana fan, let alone a fan of banana desserts, but once in a while, I like to make the French angry – not all of them at once, but just my friends – by tampering with their classics. Oh putain, c'est délicieux!
KENTUCKY FRIED MOTHERFUNGHI
It’s KFM time, motherfunghies! We're ditching wings and breasts for Kentucky spiced shrooms cooked to golden perfection. Colonel Sanders might be shaking in his boots in chicken heaven right now.
LOLA’S ROASTED CHIPOTLE CAULIFLOWER TOSTADAS
That’s right, I converted my eight year old daughter into a cauliflower thanks to this chipotle roasted cauliflower sorcery. And I dare to say it will convert you as well. It’s fanfuckingtastic. The green tahini sauce is a killer.
‘AM I EATING CABBAGE?’ CHARRED CABBAGE WITH MISO SESAME SAUCE
If you had told me that I'd be eating cabbage a few months ago, I would have told you that I'd rather be found dead at a vegan BBQ festival. Too much? Fuck it, too late to take it back.
BUN BUN SHAKE SHAKE THE SHROOM
I lived in Vietnam for many years and this dish was like an arrow straight to my heart. Now I'm giving Bun Thit Nuong a badass makeover, and trust me, you won’t miss the oink. I’m sorry piggy, but not fucking sorry, the shroom takes the win.